the reason i am so frail now
is that my whole identity has become bound up
in one not You
the reason so much hurts these days
is that part of me is driven by
fear of loss of something that is good
but something that has perhaps become
an ultimate thing.
this is what has caused the insecurity,
the mistrust, the fear, the emotional turmoil, everything.
this is why these things sting,
the prospect of others,
and the crisis of self.
shatter this within me; break this apart
wrest this from my desperate grasp
this is the one thing before me right now
that is capable of rendering all of the moments up until this one
if i succumb
when my foundation becomes Another,
than the One disappears
identity both there
and in us
it is the source
is the source of my pain
break the chain
let me walk in freedom
this wasn’t a problem before
because it wasn’t
only when I’ve allowed a good and beautiful thing
the Good and Beautiful One
I surrender this to you
i quit it.
i am tired of grasping this idol.
let this die
and fall from my grasp
you are the only One worthy of my worship
i’ve gone from looking at the horizon to
looking at Another
i can take criticism and not be crushed
i can give criticism without crushing
because of the grace God has shown me through Jesus
there is nothing between us now.