Lately, I feel like I have been increasingly put in scenarios where I am forced to be direct and not apologize afterward for being direct. Conflict resolution. Honesty. Confrontation. Accountability. Character growth.
All of these have been colliding into my life in various relationships, at an exponentially growing rate within the past 2-3 months. I told a good friend of mine recently, it’s almost to the point where it feels like a game. A continuous quest or RPG where I am completing various objectives and puzzles and growing stronger and dying and being reborn, gaining coins and lifes (1 ups?) and propeller hats along the way. Every now and then I’ll beat the castle and savour the moment of triumph, only to have the princess whisked off to another world.
And so the quest continues.
I’m slowly learning that I often apologize for things when I am not responsible, and don’t apologize and get defensive when it IS my responsibility.
Diplomatic, peace-making Mel is learning the ropes of this honesty business and it’s none too fun. How do I grow without being reactionary and pendulum swinging to the opposite extreme?
But I am starting to see the patterns a bit clearer. And feeling the growing pains again. It’s good but it’s hard. And not nearly as fun as Super Mario world.
But it IS almost getting to the point where it is happening so often, that it is comical.
I started to laugh about it today and it felt pretty good.