With each splinter, every fragment of our ever-changing world, I sense our universes spinning off across an infinitely expanding multiverse. What might have been and what could be, spiral in ever-widening circles as our paths diverge indefinitely. Through a looking-glass, I glimpse a future, blazing with hope and transformation, as I stand, straining to shed […]
I take a walk on the beach by myself. The shore is completely deserted. Cruise ships and barges offshore twinkle from afar, giving me a hint as to where the sky met the sea in a dark blue haze. A crescent moon hangs in the sky, a handful of stars splashed and scattered across the […]
am i really this predictable? le sigh. thankfully, i think i’m at the top of that curve by now.
I come through the front door soaking wet. It had been awhile since I had stepped through that doorframe. Earlier that afternoon, my tires had been low on air. Luckily for me, the heavens had decided to unleash the second coming of the flood this particular afternoon. My Australian boots barely kept out the deluge […]
“Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions.” – Ecclesiastes 7:10 I’m anxious person by nature. I got my first white hair at age 11. I was journaling at age 7 about my inner thoughts and contemplating mortality. I was a weird kid. […]
“The saddest thing about life is you don’t remember half of it. You don’t even remember half of half of it. Not even a tiny percentage, if you want to know the truth. I have this friend Bob who writes down everything he remembers. If he remembers dropping an ice cream cone on his lap […]
i come to you, foolishly, wisely
asking for change.
you drop a silver coin in my hand, saying
“such as this you will become.”
and the tremors begin.
i want to be brave. to be righteous.
to be untainted, to be free.
to love, to know and be known.
to mingle my soul with yours.
but it seems that the hellish traces of my fractured self
can only be burned away and consumed
by the most harrowing of fires
with a gravity and smoke
that crushes the spirit
at least for 24 hours
and it starts now.
i’ve dragged the blackness into my lungs
and tumbled far beyond any normal human’s reach.
i’ve marred myself
and you in the process.
and still here,
in a tangled heap
where tears melt and freeze
in disconcerting polarization
i crack under the pressure
a faint draft cools my tongue
a whisper, a sliver of hope rushes forth
and i see the muddied stars crashing and birthing and exploding overhead
and i think i trust you through the process.
i want you to brush the hair out of my eyes
and peer beyond the mortared defenses
and deep into my shame and wounds
with clarity and grace.
i want to feel your arms enfolding my neck
and the small of my back
while our breath mixes and blends
in silent intimacy
never loosening your grip on me.